A Little Bit About Me.
I Know Most of You Don’t Give A Shit But In The Festive Holiday Times It Feels More Right Than Usual To Show Who You Think You Are.
I give relationship advice. I also am a real person, who has weird likes and dislikes. I also have a weird family like most of you, and my family happens to be obsessed with my cat who they do not live with. Weird I know. She gets presents, asked about and even is featured on the walls of family above my picture. She is cute, but didn’t alarm someone of a child in trouble, doesn’t make any money, and isn’t a known breed either. I love her don’t get me wrong, but all these outsiders especially those who, “hated cat’s,” before seeing her obviously saw something in her….It’s weird.
The shoes are a representation of my style outside of work. It’s me. I know what your thinking. I don’t care. I got these under $20.00 when they retail over $100 because I am a walking updated product Bible. Always look at my links because I put up only the ones that benefit you, and they never ask you for one cent. I don’t pay for purchasing things, and I won’t subject you to that either. Happy Turkey Day!
Top Ten Tips For Feeling Like A Fat Ass After Thanksgiving But Have To Go Out Later Problem:
1. Change your clothes! If you can’t then just change your underwear. All the sweating trying to impress your man’s crazy relatives has turned you into a mess.
2. Go Get A Spray Tan-Or Buy It In A Bottle-Find Something Open!!!
3. FAKE EYELASHES! Grocery Store+$5+GO NOW= .20% better looking. RUN BITCH!
4. Jeans and Heels If your missed the Heels find some the jeans cover up. You don’t want to feel chubby and look like Mighty Mouse.
5. Go To Bobbi Brown’s Website Under The Tab LEARN and do your makeup with these instruction as an outline. If you have more time or want to prepare for the next holiday night into evening transition plan, go to Bobbi Brown’s Holiday Looks to learn how to apply some makeup tricks and tips.
6. Push Up Bra! Add Pads From Another Bra If You Need To And Prop Those Bitches Up! If your boobs are sitting on your full tummy then they need a lift.
7. Big Earrings. (hoops pref.)
8. Have A Drink.
9. Don’t Drive. TAXI TIME!
10. If this came in too late for Thanksgiving, print and save for the next Holiday that transitions into a night out.
Warning: I do use profanity (curse words) in this audio post linked below. I am not using these words hatefully or name calling-I just get to say the words that the TV beeps out on non cable or cable programming.
This audio post will most likely suck: I am in no way shape or form a professional speaker, have no voice over or live audio experience, am loud as hell and this is probably not a good idea but oh well. Click and listen and then commence with the shit talking or surprised enjoyment.
EVERYTHING SPOKEN ABOUT IS BASED ON MY OPINION. ANY MATERIAL THAT CONFUSES OR DIRECTS LISTENER TO CONSIDER THIS INFORMATION CREDIBLE TO THAT INDICATED OUTCOME IS MISTAKEN. Personal reviews are written from personal experience but to safe guard my readers the proper protocol has been taken to formally post my opinion based audio material. CLICK PURPLE TEXT BELOW TO BEGIN TO LISTEN TO THIS POST. TURN THE VOLUME LOW I AM LOUD AS HELL.